Monday, December 04, 2006

state of the union

A glass of wine, some candles, some phonecalls.
Tonight features a solitary state of the union for the month.

I listened to some 'Oreja de Van Gogh' while my flatmates watched some beauty and the nerd. Igual que la poeta que decide trabajar en un banco. (...) Me calló porque es mas como enganarse, me calló por ha ganada la razón al corazon. Pero pase lo que pase.

The Carry Bradshaw approach would entail begging the question: I couldn't help but wonder, how do real-life job opportunities compare to vague dreams?

I had everything planned out. I had planned to take the odd path, to surprise people and not care. I was going to go on a spiritual pilgrimage on the Camino de Santiago and encounter all kinds of hidden challenges, secret truths, interesting individuals. I was going to find the bohemians in Berlin and the creative spirits in Barcelona. I was going to return to the mythical childhood lands of Manilla and Batac.

I had planned wilderness.
And now.
An actual job crossed my well-designed path,
messing with my wilderness.
You know.

If I am all that open to options and all that adventurous,
perhaps I should step up,
just to step up to the challenge.
I've done the travelling bit.
Been there, done that. (Although,
one can never be done travelling,
real or imaginary.

But, still.)
Maybe it's time for a change.
Maybe it's not such a big change,
maybe Manilla is still an option.


Anna said...

Most things are not mutually exclusive.. you can be both employed and homeless, or at least homeless in the sense that the whole world (incl. Manilla) is your home. Certain things may even reinforce each other, as in the case of the economist who is a poet, too. You start to be imprisoned as soon as you believe that you are only one thing/person. Also, and despite being a goddamned cliché and a song on top of that, it's not what you do, it's the way that do it.. Nunca gana la razón al corazón. Si tienes esa impresión, es que adentro tuyo se está riendo tu corazón de la ilusión inspirada por falta de razón. haha! Real-life will always fade back and forth between reality and vague dreams.. we are simply too myopic and blindsighted to focus on all its petty little realities at the same time. It's kind of like wearing glasses: the centre is more or less clear (depending also on whether it's raining or not), but looking up or to the side you can see the vagueness approaching and surrounding everything. Comforting, isn't it?

Hannah said...

yes it is
thank you