Monday, October 29, 2007


Complete journals are devoted to decision-making, political and sociological and economic and legal decision-making procedures.

But no one will you give you definitive news on personal decision-making. No one will tell you about different voices in your head, all at the same time. No mathematical models will help you solve the emotional waves that hit when decisions get made.

I decided. I gave the voices in my mind a year of wandering and freelancing and quitting jobs and looking for hints on what to do next, to be what I want. They gave me a decision.

Emotionally, I will always find it though to move places.
Ideally, I would abduct and move all my friends around every time I move.
Intellectually, I just want to do research.
I am tired of freelancing; I will freelance more, later, not now.
I want an empty Stata screen and thirty fresh articles.
Call me a nerd.
I will be the nerd with the Baileys bottle in her office.

So there, a decision in your face, universe. Now I wish for a campari orange and dancing to make all this grown-up life decision-making go away.

And we will. Here is my latest insight/hope/self-invented truth:

Over time, everything sorts itself out.
Over time, time flies
Over time, everyone will assemble somewhere and will be older and will have jobs and errands and new funky words, found in various places, and we will patch all of it together and write complete new episodes together.
And we will forget decisions altoghether.

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