Thursday, May 03, 2007

cry if i want to

Last night, just now, just hours ago; it was a night of unexpected and scary freedom, completely wild new truths and the merging of a dream with concreteness. A red-haired girl with freckles on her nose looked me straight in the eye, asked me what my dream was and waited calmly, seriously. It was not a hypothetical question. It was a question that meant 'so what are you gonna do about that dream, woman'? I told that girl about The Patchwork House.

Today is my day, - "It's my party/and I'll cry if I want to." One of the lines from the Posse archive pf songs -to-sing-out-loud-late-at-night is "We're gonna party/like it's you're birthday." (Another one was that line "you and me, baby, (.... ) ...discovery channel").

Yeah, baby.

There may be the eternal pain in my arm due to excessive computer-contact, there may be skin troubles and all those psycho-somatic signs indicating I have been pursueing a path that is wrong for me.


There is my posse, my girls, my people and the strength they represent.
There is a dream, scary as it may be, completely bewildered as it may leave me.

There is today, today which is my day. I will cry, if I want to. I will get angry, I will overdramatize. I will hang out with people that fascinate and bewilder me and leave me speechless (me! speechless!?!). I might even get my driver's licence and drive a fast car. No wait. I'll probably just find someone to drive and read the map myself. Keeping it real.

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