Monday, February 12, 2007

the stata master

"you ain't got a job - it's an agreement for you to show up and enlighten them on various issues that trouble the world"

said a friend, a colourful character I'd like to introduce, who likes to refer to himself as the Stata Master. In his world, my assigned and only name is Junior, in reference to my status as an apprentice of of Stata, an econometrics program. Other characters in this fictionalized realm involve

Jovencita (a non-existant Spanish word invented for a more advanced stata apprentice of Latin American origin),
The Russian Authorities (a girl of given nationality),
Walking Work Conscience (a hard-working Ph.D. colleague),
mme. Avantage (a member of the establishment, i.e. a senior secretary of disputable reputation)
the mafia ('to be befriended rather than to be fought against', -Italian Ph.D. students),
one or two not-so-friendly names for disrespected characters
and 'those kids' for all other individuals.

The worst thing one can do, according to the stata master, is go to or co-operate with Babylon, which is, apparently, the reggae word for 'the US'. The best one can do, is keep jamming, over shisha, or spend time on alcohol appreciation sessions. His aforementioned comment reminds me, - that fiction can be the best reality check.

3 comments:

Hannah said...

Correction: the following titles were wrongfully censored earlier:

the midget
cosmos
quasimodo
the stealthy whale
el emperadorcito

The writers of this blog would like to add that they oppose against "mananaged creativity" and would like to deny any associations with putin's "managed democracy" and/or babylon's hypocritical "political correctness"

Anna said...

My first experience with Stata was last week, and I am still in the lowest category of apprentices, those to whom State is just a Black Hole of nothingness. Those who lose all their work because they forgot to open a log.

Hannah said...

This is true about Stata, - if you don't watch out, it will suck you into it's dark material and concentrated gravity.