Three weeks ago, home, the sky an unexpected baby blue and the smell of a late summer. (zoals liedjes soms beginnen)
At the ten-people garden table, my laptop stood out against the faded wood. I sat myself down, msn-ing with my twelve-year old twin sisters. I could see one of the two, behind a twin laptop at the kitchen table inside the house behind. The other, I could hear her giggle behind me, in the office in the small separate house in the garden. We had so much fun.
They carried heavy school books and sighed over homework, the school year had only just begun and came with Latin, drawing exercises, new television programmes. Me, I was still in a different time zone. Me, my last year hadn't ended, my summer hadn't really happened, I was struggling to finish, I didn't know how.
Another Ph.D. student just stopped by my desk, saying I am finishing, I am converging there, moving his hands towards each other as if diving.
I remember homework that would be handed in the next day, done. Fun or painful or boring, but done. I remember about September, about fresh books, a new theme for my agenda and notebooks, new quotes by classmates to write down, new teachers, an empty grade card. I remember assessing the material, staring it down, setting out strategies, deciphering what would be my favourite subject this year.
An ancien professor of economic thought just introduced himself, -vous pourriez etre ma pétite fille. One of his greatest prides: Dornbusch quoted his Ph.D. thesis in an article. (Vous connaissez, Dornbusch? Vous connaissez, Tinbergen?) One of his regrets, - cette vogue mathématique, ça est arrivé dans les années soixante. Aujourd' hui, on dirait que l'histoire économique commence en 1990. He shook his head.
I bought myself a new study book today. It is called "The Artist's Way", it's written by Julia Cameron, I would have never found it without the online community of writers, poets and artists. (Thank you, fiona, keri, awfully serious). This year, I am determining my curriculum, will sit at the kitchen table with my sisters, will make homework, will be good. I am supposed to read the introduction before tomorrow.